Date: Wed, 12 Jul 2000 13:16:21 -0700
From: Justin Robinson-Prickett 
To: T.J. Jankun-Kelly 
Cc: Penny Gronbeck 
Subject: The Conversation

Ivy follows Damon into the bedroom, and lies down next to him.  She hugs
him, holding him for a long moment.  "You saved me from dead people." 
She means it. 

Damon lets himself be held for a time, trying to remain motionless.
Finally, he breaks the embrace and stares at Ivy.  His eyes are cold and
hard, like the emeralds they resemble, but the bubble of moisture over
them
betray his true emotions.

"Saved you?" he asks, his voice bitter.  "I lost control.  I ripped
reality
apart, summoning the Maelstrom down on one wraith.  I tore a man's soul
from
his body.  I drove several people mad."

He pauses, looking away.  "I'm what I always knew I was.  I'm a monster,
Ivy.  I... it's not safe to be around me.  We... I... maybe I should go
home,  and we shouldn't see each other.  Ivy, I... couldn't live with
myself
if I did something to you."

He rises from the bed, regarding her.

Ivy stares at him in surprise, then shakes her head.  "No.  Damon, no,
you're not a monster."  She takes his hands if he lets her.  "You acted
to help me.  We were in a really scary situation" Ivy's voice breaks a
little on the last words "and I don't know, I can't see what you do"  she
gestures, closing her eyes for a second.  When she opens them, there is a
sheen of moisture on them.  "but you didn't hurt me, and we got Sebastian
back."  Ivy takes a deep breath and lets it out, shakily.  "and I don't
want to break up with you.  That's not going to solve any problems at
all." 

Damon reaches for Ivy impulsively, before reining in his hands.  He looks
at
them for a moment, then meets her gaze, smiling bitterly.

"That all depends, Ivy.  If the problem is my hurting you, breaking up
with
you will solve that.  The fact of the matter is this - I lost control.
There's no telling when something like that will happen again, or how bad
the next time will be.  The fact that I saved you this time is semantic. 
I
could just as easily have killed you.

"I am a conduit between this world and the next.  I handle forces the
human
mind should not be able to comprehend, patterns that determine the
balance
of existance.

"We succeeded today inspite of me, not because of me.  Why do you care
for
me?  Today I betrayed all I thought I was, and all I want to become.  My
powers were my master, not vice versa.  Can you abide me after that,
Ivy?"

The smile vanishes, replaced by a mask of anxiety.
Ivy is still holding her hand out.  "Damon, the problem was that you
panicked, not that you hurt me.  I regenerate, and you didn't hit me that
hard.  If we plan better, learn to work together better, that won't
happen again." 

Ivy closes her eyes for a second, and a tear falls down her cheek.  "You
were trying to keep me safe."  She turns her hand palm up, looking up at
him with clear eyes.  "I love you, Damon.  Fighting evil isn't easy, but
I want to do it with you."
Damon's jaw falls, and he stares at Ivy for a long moment before
responding.
Again, he begins to reach out before recoiling.  "You... love... me?  But
I'm... me."

His eyes narrow, flicking back and forth, as if trying to remember
something.  "Ivy, I'm not worth love.  Monsters don't get that sort of
thing.  We exist to destroy.  You're a creature of creation.  No matter
what
you may... think you want... and no matter how much I want to believe
it's
possible..."

Damon's eyes, the green of them the only vital thing about him, lock onto
Ivy's own.  "Our feelings are irrelevant.  No matter how much I may lo...
I
forbid you to love me, Ivy."

He stares stoically, clamping his jaw shut, almost preventing it from
trembling.
Ivy smiles a very small smile as another tear falls.  "You're not a
monster."  She stands up, eyes locked on his.  "If you were a monster,
you wouldn't have tried to protect me.  You wouldn't feel bad about
hurting dead people who were going to hurt us.  You wouldn't tell me we
had to break up." 

She looks down for a moment.  "You're right that our powers are
dangerous, but it's dangerous for you, too.  If I screw up healing you,
you could die."  She looks up, locking eyes again.  "I am safer with you
than I am on my own.  I can't even see dead people, let alone fight
them.  How can I protect myself from them if you go?  We make a good
team, partly because our powers are different." 

Ivy takes a small step closer to Damon, standing in front of him.  Her
emotions flicker across her face, too quickly to read.  "You can't tell
me not to love you.  I love you anyway, I love you because you're you,
and you are worth it, Damon."  Another step. 

Damon stands still, not advancing, but not retreating.  "Ivy, don't you
understand what I am?  You can't... this isn't a comic book... I'm not
Cyclops, you're not Phoenix... we're just two kids... I... don't..."

He stops, as she steps within arm's reach of him.

Ivy looks a little strained.  "I understand better than you think I do. 
And I know it's not a comic."  She smiles a little ironically and glances
to the side.  "This would be a lot easier if it were, or a lot worse. 
No, I know how serious this is, and that really bad things can happen to
us...."  She makes eye contact again.  "I'm scared, Damon.  But I don't
think it's right to leave Cassandra without at least trying to help
her." 

Damon starts a bit, as though Ivy slapped him.  A small grin tugs at the
corner of his mouth, and his eyes clear.

"Of course.  I'm sorry, Ivy... thank you, for what you said."

He shakes his head as if to clear it of sleep.

"I didn't mean to insult your intelligence.  For that, I apologize, and
please, this time I know I'm wrong."

He takes her in his arms, finally comfortable.  "Don't be frightened, my
love.  We'll face whatever fate has in store for us together.  And it is
not
fair to Cassandra, leaving her like this."

He strokes her hair lightly.  "I lost my head, and I'm more than a little
ashamed of my behavior."  He chuckles ruefully.  "I guess I need you for
precisely that reason.  I'm glad you didn't let me make the biggest
mistake
of my life by leaving you."

Ivy relaxes into Damon's embrace, the tension from the argument quickly
falling away.  After a moment, she pulls away a little to gaze into his
eyes with love and relief. She kisses him.